About Living With Losses

For twenty years, the Rev. Patricia A. Shelden, has dedicated herself to the issues and realities of Dying, Death, Loss and Grief. She has experience responding to a multitude of the Losses and Grief that we encounter in our lives.  She has served as a hospital chaplain, a parish minister and  for the last 10 years through LIVING WITH LOSSES:  Support for ALL Losses and Grief, she has offered both grief support for individuals and families, and educational programs such as lectures and workshops regarding many aspects of Loss, Grief and it’s effect on adults, teens and children.  

Through her educational programs Patricia Shelden has worked with families, individuals, hospital and school staff, seminarians, university students and professionals.  Because of her unique approach to Loss and Grief she brings unique insights and experiences.

Patricia Shelden’s views on Loss and Grief are based on two realities: Death is NOT the only source of profound or painful grief and Grief is NOT a pathological condition to be cured.  

By acknowledging and understanding the vast sources of Loss and Grief, Patricia Shelden reaches many whose grief has left them disenfranchised and alone in their pain.   There many sources of Losses and Grief in addition to the death of a loved one.   

Grief is a natural and honorable human emotion in response to profound Loss. Grief needs to find expression in whatever non-harmful way is healthiest and most authentic for the person experiencing it. Not everyone grieves in the same say nor do they find full expression and comfort in the same ways. 

Patricia Shelden has journeyed with many dying individuals and their families as they have faced their future loss and when the survivors experience their grief afterward.  She has provided grief support to numerous people as they try to move through their lives after a Loss, trying to manage their Grief but finding it to be much harder journey than they imagined.  She has also worked with individuals and couples as they wrestled with and made  the decisions that determine their Advanced Directives and Living Wills.  In addition, she has coached people on how to talk with their families with the goal of having family members agree to each other’s wishes about their own illnesses and death.   

Patricia Shelden’s training went beyond graduate school and included several years as a Hospital Chaplain studying Loss and Grief as well as supporting the family members left with significant Grief after the death of a love one.  It was also during this time that Patricia Shelden began to understand the vast causes of Loss and Grief and the reality that most of these experiences are not considered worthy of focused support.   

Providing support for these experiences and developing an awareness of  the myriad sources of Losses and Grief helped Patricia Shelden become a Pastoral Care Specialist with a focus on Loss and Grief  The art of Pastoral Care is that part of ministry in which clergy provide support and care to those who are going through a difficult time.  It is the part of ministry that is about presence and not advice giving.  

Patricia Shelden has trained other ministers, seminarians, school teachers and staff, and others to become aware of the layers of Loss in situations that create profound Grief, and how to offer support to those who are in need.  It is her unique approach to Loss and Grief that makes her stand out among Grief professionals and that allows her to support those enduring a Loss and experiencing Grief.  

As well as training, Patricia Shelden is a frequent public speaker on the issues of Loss and Grief.  Some of the topics for her lectures and presentations appear here on the classes and workshops page.